Hi, It's OA. As I write this Swim and Bruce are planning to take me out. Or more precisely they are planning to make such a plan and, in the meantime, constructing elaborate defensive maneuvers; meditative shields for the mind missiles they believe I’ll send.
When we got back to the compound and my service returned, I saw 13 unread messages from my usually impassive friend and felt that old immediate need, that rush to respond. But first I had a smoke. They were pissed because of an edit I made to their last post...
I could see the branch of the Callery Pear tree that stretched across the fire escape, a presence that meant nothing to me during the day, but late at night its newly bloomed glowing white flowers seemed to turn into demonic faces stretched in laughter.
cw: suicide ideation
sync don't swim
There’s not enough to drink that will make me forget what’s happening, it’s only when I’m with Odious that I feel calm, because I’m so focused on the unique feel of everything that happens in their presence that I forget to obsess about my own thoughts for a while.
At the end of 2020 Odious and I were in a holding pattern. Unusual, and possibly extraordinary things had happened, but there was no way to know what, if anything, any of it meant...