Whole lifetimes passed of barely being there, I was a flimsy ghost determined by the things around me, until now this flash of anamnesis. Not remembering but forgetting a little less how we’d always been together…our graves side by side on several continents.
“It’s like discovering a little snag of the secret thread that runs beneath the surface of things,” I told them. “Something ancient and beautiful that somehow also feels super familiar.”
At the end of 2020 Odious and I were in a holding pattern. Unusual, and possibly extraordinary things had happened, but there was no way to know what, if anything, any of it meant...
Nosferatu in Venice
I saved the file and went for a walk, as this often helps stave off the anxious feels whenever they start bubbling up. This time, however, going out only made it worse, edging me towards straight up panic attack territory for the first time in a while.
Rip Van Winkle
It was an ambivalent energy that was fucking with me—a darkness that didn’t fit into language. It’s that which was there before and that which will be there after we're finished with words.